6.1.2019

i didn’t known better then. 

i didn’t known what I know now. 

this life and love

blessings that I have. 

i was asleep and we were asleep 

without insight in an illusion 

that was not the reality 

but merely a reflection 

with the shadows of our light. 

my heart was sealed with strong steel locks 

that I had created for protection 

before I knew better. 

since then they have opened up 

i heard my voice

i feel the longing of your Soul. 

the pain of the heart 

when letting go of the love of my life. 

the fear that I will never find anyone with as vast heart as yours 

to walk with me 

to fly with me. 

there is a big space of hollowing emptiness left 

it took me too long to be able to feel it. 

with hawaiian healing mantra

I’m sorry

Please forgive me

I love you 

Thank You 🙏 

6.11.2018

sometimes you don’t feel the greatest loss of your life 

until you manage to burn your heart open

first to yourself

when you have been numbed for years

when your body has been paralysed for years

when you have been the master of analysing

instead of feeling

when you have been the master of taking care of others

before taking care of yourself

for your life

you have been sleepwalking

pretending that this mess is not here

it’s all in control

i control everything

yeah right

and then

it’s time to move on

open the heart

see what you have hidden

from yourself

for so long

start living with your heart

if there is a possibility for a new start

hey universe

then i pray on that

on this image of this beautiful family

that i just threw away

because i didn’t know better

i didn’t know how to feel my feelings

of love

no i’m not a master yet

just learning

but gut is telling

it’s there